Thursday, August 14, 2008

Why China must go down

I am back again, pissed as ever and following up on my earlier rant Why we must not dislike the People's Republic of China BUT HATE , DESPISE, AND ABHOR THE BASTARDS.

As the 2008 Olympics progress, issues are popping up and they all point to why we must look down upon the Chinese with contempt. So much for the symbolism of fairness and harmony.

First, the Chinese are putting under aged players into the Olympics to gain unfair advantage. In 2004, the United States didn't allow Nastia Liukin to participate in the Olympic gymnastics even though she was the best in her field because she was under aged. This is came to no one's surprise, the United States abides by the rules that have set forth by the IOC. Imagine though if the United States gave her a fake passport and changed her birth certificate to give team USA an advantage in the 2004 Olympics. It would have been a cheap underhanded strategy that undermined the spirit of the Olympics. That's exactly what the Chinese are doing with not one but TWO of their gymnasts in this Olympics. In a disgraceful act of open underhandedness that has become so common of Chinese practice recently, the Chinese are not surprising anybody either.

Second, there was an upset in Women's Archery, as the Chinese became the first non Koreans to take Gold since the 1984 Olympics. I have no problems with upsets; they are bound to happen. But what pisses me off are the bastards in the stands. They jeered the Korean Archery team and put them under excessive stress and pressure by blowing whistles and yelling in the crucial moments of the tournament. The Chinese may have become richer but their mannerism lack the finesse that is prerequisite of global recognition.

Third, in a act of vanity and what can only be described as indecent to the human spirit, the Chinese had a girl mime a crucial song in the opening ceremony because she had the perfect face while the girl who actually sang the song was banned from appearing because of crooked teeth. Talk about shooting down the mood and bringing children into the world of deceit early. Speaking of the opening ceremony, this year's opening ceremony was the most expensive in the history of the Olympics. Expensive because the Chinese could afford it after abusing migrant workers who worked tirelessly to build the facades of modernity to hide its appalling reality. Journalists have confirmed that the Chinese government are cheating the workers of their wages. Adding to their long list of human rights violations, the Chinese government are back stabbing the very people who are making the glitter and pomp of the Olympics possible. To make the matter even more despicable, most of the under payed and unfairly treated workers have been thrown out of areas near tourist attractions and Olympic venues. The People's Republic is showing its color once again, as nothing but authoritarian crooks who want to turn the Olympics into a racket, bastards.

Fourth, in an act that I am still trying to figure out why on earth the Chinese would do something like this. Open racism towards blacks and Mongolians? So much for that fake song about harmony that was sung in the opening ceremony. This is just unbelievable, the Chinese government actually openly doing something that will damage its reputation.

If I keep going this may become the longest article in the history of blogging so I am going to wrap it up with just a few more things.

Todd Bachman, the father-in-law of Olympic Men's Indoor Volleyball Head Coach Hugh McCutcheon, was stabbed to death. The Chinese play the murder off as being non-politically motivated. Look, if it was a armed robbery, the man would have taken something and ran for cover, not commit, what it seems to be, suicide. Put in simple terms, there was a suicide attack on a Caucasian male in Beijing by a denizen of Beijing. Maybe it was just a bizarre case of a deranged man, but if it was why haven't the Chinese made any statements beyond the fact that "it wasn't politically motivated"? (and how on earth would anyone know whether or not it was) What is his background, what may have been hi motivation, etc are questions that haven't ben answered yet. Obviously China has serious deep seethed issues that needs to be investigated.

This gruesome tragedy occurred despite the fact that the Chinese have turned Beijing into a 21st century police state. Thousands of paramilitary officers, special forces men, and plain cloth officers constantly watch the tourists and the denizens of Beijing. Granted this level of security comes with certain concerns for the Tibetan and Xinjiang separatists, but probably mostly because the People's Republic want to keep anything remotely similar to Tienanmen's Square from happening during the Olympics. They are afraid that their own people will confirm what the rest of the world already knows. That the Chinese government is a sick despicable entity and too often the people don;t act any better.

I pray that the Chinese will not be awarded for these treacherous activities by taking first overall by the end of the tournament. I hope the government is humiliated and the people forced into a state of repentance by the end of all this.

Who will be our champion that brings down the flaming sword of justice upon Beijing? God I just hope that there is one.

The element of Surprise blog presents: SPARTAN WEEK!

That's right coming soon the Element of Surprise Blog will host the first annual Spartan Week featuring all kinds of articles on Spartans crammed into one tiny, tiny week. Your brain won't know what happened, but you may find yourself inexplicably attracted to men in tiny speedos, and the works of Frank Miller. Just roll with it, You'll be fine.

This isn't shark week, IT'S SPARTAN WEEK!!!

Spartan week is an Element of Surprise production, generously sponsored by Pepsi, and the new HBO series about vampires, we don't know what the hell it's called, but hey it's about vampires surely that will attract you goth kids.
Think about it you can watch it Ironically, just say hey I don't really like it, but the fact that I watch something as mainstream as HBO even though I'm clearly part of the counter culture makes me cool. Right?

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Rabbit-man Gets Political...Kinda

Ok people seems like nobody has posted on this blog for a while so I thought I would bust out one of my backup blog posts. Hah bet you didn't know I had backup blog posts. Well guess what? I do! This is just one of the many many many blog posts I have backed up in a secure location (strapped to the back of a polar bear that I set loose in the antarctic) waiting to be busted out at a moment's notice.

Well this is surely a relevant issue to us all: We are wasting money helping seniors pay for scooters so they can scoot around to the grand canyon, help their kids make cookies, and do various other things that normal and productive members of society do everyday. It's terrible...

Oh wait helping the seniors is a good thing...

Well if you actually read the link, like I just did, you will find that the government could save over one billion dollars by opening up competition for the medicare contract that finances these scooters, and yet lobbyists are trying to stop this from happening, and are succeeding!!! Dun dun DUNN!!!
Think about it, one billion dollars is financing for less than a week of war in Iraq dudes!! We totally need that money!!!!!!!!!

{[Editor's note]I think my point is starting to get lost in this convoluted mess of a post, but I've already spent a good 20 minutes trying to look for commercials from the scooter store meaning I can't delete this, so I'm deleting the paragraph or two that I wrote for this part. Just know this post was once really long, and was super convincing I just didn't have the time to edit it. Also could anyone tell me what language this website is written in. One of my earlier blog posts seems to be refrenced on it, but I just can't figure out what god forsaken language it's in.}

So remember friends help the seniors, cause nobody else will, Tell your congressman to quit being a douchebag and award competitive contracts to these scooter companies.