Sunday, May 31, 2009


Alright I think it’s finally time to get this show on the road and review some comics. I was originally going to review New X-Men many moons ago, but I got sidetracked, and things went down a different road, and here it is two columns (one of which was specifically titled “New X-Men reviewed” I might add) later and I still haven’t reviewed it. I consulted a few psychiatrists about this and they seem to think that it’s my subconscious telling me I must not review New X-Men! And wouldn’t you know it once I stopped thinking about reviewing New X-Men my chest pains stopped, my youthful energy has returned, and I don’t want to spend all day in bed. Point is I was depressed for that week when I decided to review New X-Men dear readers, and I place the blame squarely on you—Shit, those psychiatrists told me to stop antagonizing people—

New topic, I see we had a foreigner from the land of ice pay a visit to this blog, probably looking for that New X-Men review that I never did… arg depression returning must do something else… Ah yes I will review something (no I don’t want to fall into that rut again) I will make a list (no lists are written by nerds for people with ADD), pitch another TV show (ok sounds good, it requires mild creativity, and I’ve only done it once before.). Does everyone remember my first pitch for a revamp of the smurfs? Good because this will be nothing like that.

Alright first off when pitching a TV show you must come up with a genre. Hmm I seem to like Sci-Fi a lot, ok I’ll go with that. Now after you have the genre of tv show picked out the next step is to figure out how to get hawt young people to be on the show. Ok the scientist has a hot daughter, who totally has relationship problems and goes through boyfriends faster than a dog with an erection in a cat shop… (Does that simile make sense, discuss in our spiffy comment section). Ok now I decide the theme of the series… Enough of this outline crap here's a brief summary of the series...

Joe Samson is the worst cop on the police force. Every murder case he has ever handled has ended with the killer escaping the blind sword of justice, until one day an oddly specific dream gives him the clue he needed to solve a case. Fortunately for Joe strange dreams and hallucinations continue to help him solve cases. However, when Joe discovers that the “divine intervention” has been taking a serious toll on his physical and mental health he must decide whether or not he should find a way to get rid of his abilities. Joe faces a tough decision: keep the fame, and adulation of his peers, along with helping to keep the streets safe or throw it all away and return to life as a failure. That’s a good two or three storyarcs right there. Probably enough content to last the show until it gets canceled---Dammit, I was told by the psychiatrists to think positive thoughts…

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